Category: Uncategorized

Socially Responsible Investing and Climate Change

On By mycrazymessyamazinglifeIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Here’s the first in a series on Socially Responsible Investing. I’ll talk to people in finance as well as those involved in a variety of social justice movements. The first interview is with the Rev. Jenny Phillips, an amazing woman who helped steer the United Methodist Church towards divestment from fossil fuels.

https://thebillfold.com/search?q=socially%20responsible%20investing

 

Traveling With A Health Conditon Is Hard…Why I Do It Anyway

On By mycrazymessyamazinglifeIn Uncategorized1 Comment

My son and I are currently sitting in the LAX airport, in front of Gate 138, waiting to board a flight to Lima, Peru. From there we fly to Cusco and spend a couple weeks exploring ruins, night hiking in the Amazon and sea kayaking on Lake Titicaca. I hope.

Here are the two things I know for sure about the trip. One, T and I will have an amazing adventure, do things we’ve both dreamed about and make memories together. Two, parts of it will suck.

It’s hard to quantify what travel is like “now”. My husband explained it once to someone by asking about their worst vacation experience, and then saying  that would be an exceptionally good trip for us.

What I expect: I will, at some point, vomit on the side of the trail from either pain or medication or a combination of pain and medication. T will have to spend a recovery day (or three) with me in a hotel, rather than out adventuring (yes, it’s a verb in our house). I will miss some of our planned and guided activities and will ride along while T bikes/swims/kayaks.

I’m not saying that to complain. I’m ridiculously excited to travel with T and he’s fine with the expectations I’ve laid out above. It’s (almost) a non-issue because we’ve all learned to set our expectations to reality.

So why go, right? Why risk the pain and the drama and the difficulty?

If I’ve learned anything in the last few years, it’s the importance of holding on to the things that make me happiest and the importance of fighting to define my life on my own terms and by more than what I cannot do. It will always be easier to just stay home. It’s easier not to travel, not to write, not to see friends or support my kids or live a life beyond what it most comfortable. And over time, that is often my only choice. But the things I love-my friends, my family and the adventures we have together are worth fighting for, even if that means fighting through (too much) pain to do them a few times a year. More than that, traveling is where I am happiest, even if I’m physically uncomfortable. Grabbing my kid’s hand and jumping into the world, as best I can, reminds me of who I am, even if how I express that is different now.

And so we planned. We used guides and support staff, things we might never have done before, built in rest days and back-up plans for my back-up plans (including but not limited to several discussions with my doctor  and making sure that T understood what might happen so he could explain to somebody else if I couldn’t). I planned for the worst and hope for the best, as the saying goes. Good or had, it’s worth the effort for me to share the world with my son.

Wish us luck, good weather and amazing adventures.

 

 

 

Can We Have A Conversation about National Violence?

On By mycrazymessyamazinglifeIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

There are shootings in this country every day and mass shootings nearly that often. According to the Gun Violence Archive, there have been 137 mass shootings in the USA in 2017. 158 people are dead and scores more have been injured. That’s more than eleven times the number of people killed in San Bernardino and three times the people killed in the Pulse Nightclub attack. Those were horrific acts, and I’m not trying to belittle them. But I think it’s time to stop ignoring the fact that people are being shot on the street and in our schools by men with an underlying ideology of hatred.

 

Maybe it’s hard to quantify individual shootings since one hates Muslims and another hates women and another hates African-Americans and still another hates immigrants. But the root is the same. If an ideology of hatred is driving mass shootings and we can’t discuss them for what they are, an attempt to harm and frighten and subdue those who are different, than how do we work together to solve the problem?

 

Here’s What I’m Talking About

 

Nine people died at Umpqua Community College at the hand of a man who left a message stating his animosity towards women and organized religion. In La Isla, CA a shooter killed six and injured 14 after recording a “manifesto” that declared hatred for women, minorities and inter-racial couples. The slasher on the Portland Max last week began by attacking two women he believed were Muslim and spewing hate speech.

 

The reporting on the slasher on the Max is still emerging and there is (maybe, finally?) a push to call this what it is: domestic terrorism.

 

Read the reports on the other two shootings, and the storyline is eerily similar: A young (non-Muslim) man with mental illness has unfortunately shot multiple people. The same can be said for shootings across the country, every day.

I don’t understand why it’s terrorism if the perpetrator hates a country, but it’s “mental illness” if the perpetrator hates a sub-section of that country.

 

Actually, I do understand. We all do. And it’s so, so wrong.

 

It’s wrong to define terrorism by the race and religion of the person doing the shooting. It’s wrong to suggest that “there’s a difference” between acts carried out by Muslim extremists and those by white supremacists or non-Muslims, as Sean Duffy (R-WI) did in February. Or maybe it’s right. Depending on which news outlet you read, you are up to seven times more likely to be killed by a white supremacist than a Muslim attacker, but I’m fairly certain that wasn’t what Mr. Duffy was referring to.

 

As a woman and a mother, I’m not frightened that my daughter will fall victim to a terrorist attack. I am worried that she might be injured in a school shooting. I’m even more concerned that she will experience sexual violence, whether that is rape, harassment or a man deciding to hurt or yes, shoot her because she dares to assert her autonomy as a human being and turn down a date. I won’t teach my daughter how to avoid a terrorist attack. I will teach her, as best I can, how to navigate a world where violence against women is a daily occurrence. I don’t personally have children of color, but my understanding is that parents of color are teaching their children, as best they can, how to stay safe in world where hate crimes and prejudice and confrontation are rising.

 

Where Do We Go From Here?

 

We need a national discussion on violence, hate speech and domestic terrorism, its root causes and how we, individually and collectively, want to face this problem. We have an administration that ignores it, unless prodded for days to make an underwhelming Twitter statement. The CDC can’t even study gun violence, courtesy of whatever arcane and ridiculous rules stand in the way. Thanks to a gun lobby more concerned with arming its members than keeping children alive, current gun laws certainly aren’t curtailing mass shootings. And mental health services are limited and about to get more difficult to access, if the GOP has its way.

 

So it seems it’s up to us, the individuals who form this nation. I can only hope that we all respond as the men Portland did, with love and kindness and a desire to protect the vulnerable. If we, as a nation, could begin to discuss these daily shootings and attacks for what they are, violence and threats used to intimidate large groups of Americans, maybe we could change our national response. Maybe we could learn to support and protect those targeted. We could be a nation of millions standing up, not just to violent acts, but also to the attitudes and beliefs and hate speech that lead to violence.

 

 

Dear Mo Brooks: Do I Lead A Bad Life?

On By mycrazymessyamazinglifeIn disability, make your voice loud, Uncategorized2 Comments

Dear Mr. Brooks,

I have a pre-existing condition, so I guess I lead a bad life.

You know what’s really bad? Going in for surgery and coming out with nerve and organ damage is bad. Losing my health in two hours. That was a bad day.

I usually keep this part quiet, but since you seem to have strong opinions about good and bad, I’ll tell you. I had surgery to fix damage from childbirth with my two kids. I guess if I hadn’t had children, I wouldn’t have needed the surgery that gave me the pre-existing condition. But then I would have either been a woman who had an abortion or a woman who (gasp!) chose not to have kids, and I’m going to guess both of those things would have landed a check in your “bad” column as well.

Let me tell you a little about my life before my pre-existing condition, back when it was a good one.

I ran a lot, including marathons. I loved vegetables, except kale, because, who really loves kale? I took my tiny kids on walks and hikes. We swam a lot.

I was a Physical Therapist. My whole career revolved around helping people stay healthy, so they could live good, fulfilling lives too. You’re an older guy; maybe you’ve seen someone like me to help you rehab an injury? Most people have by your age, which means they have pre-existing conditions too. If you haven’t, maybe you can ask Chaffetz about it; he’s going to need some PT for that foot.

Here’s the thing: All the salads and good living in the world didn’t change my outcome or my story. It took a brief moment under anesthetic for my life to go from a good one to a bad one, by your definition.

Newsflash, you bigoted old fool: I live a good life with a pre-existing condition and a disability. Getting to the point I could call it a good life was hard as hell, and I’ll miss my old life for the rest of my new one. That doesn’t make my life less valuable now. The things I had to learn along the way, like patience and compassion and humility might just make my life better. I’m guessing you don’t understand that.

So let’s talk a little about my life now. Let’s talk about why I think it’s a good one and what you really mean by a bad life.

First, I love my family. My husband I are raising two whip-smart, kind, empathetic kids. We’ve instilled the idea of “do unto others as you would have done to you.” Those are checks in your “good life” column, right?

They think you’re an ass. Also, we’re agnostic, so we skipped the Bible verses and told them to be good people who care about others. That’s probably two checks in your “bad” column, right?

I’m pro-choice but I’m also pro-child. While I’d like abortion to be legal, safe and rare, I care more that the children who are born have food and shelter and healthcare. Even if, like my daughter, they are born with a pre-existing condition and spend some nights in Children’s Hospital before their first birthday.

I still exercise as much as I can and I still like vegetables. All the healthy living in the world won’t make me less dependent on the medical supplies that keep me alive. Your falsely moralistic statement that good things happen to good people, including health, is so far-fetched that it would be comical if you didn’t have a vote in shaping healthcare policy. That vote makes your statement terrifying and cruel.

Here’s the thing you need to know about those of us with pre-existing conditions, especially people like me whose health changed their lives.

We’ve learned two things. The first is compassion. You can’t have life deal you such a resounding blow without understanding that anyone can be the next victim of cancer or MS or a surgical complication, and that living a good life has nothing to do with it. The second thing we’ve learned it how to fight. It takes ridiculous amounts of time and energy and persistence to fight for the services and medical supplies we need and often we have to fight despite poor odds, because we want to stay alive.

We have compassion and commitment to a fight. If anyone is ready to fight for healthcare for the next three years and nine months, it’s us.

And we’re tired of your bullying moral superiority. Health and good luck alone don’t make a good life. Too bad you lack compassion and the courage to fight for anyone other than yourself. That seems like a bad life.